To make up for missing several days of posts and halfassing one yesterday I'll post what I have from Scars on the Heart. It's not much still since I haven't had much time to work on it, but you all seemed to enjoy it last time so I'll share with you the updated version.
She
was exotic, her and her brothers to the students of Cappa High in Mountain View, Washington. All eyes landed on them as they made their
way through the lunch room. The two
boys- Casper and Jasper- walking on either side of Geneviere. To the others they’re the new kids, the rare
batch of triplets who are unbelievably close.
In reality though, they’re first cousins born on the same
day, the same year, and in the same hospital.
To each other they felt like fibers of the same thread. So as usual, the two boys claimed their
lovely cousin as sister and she in return claimed them as brothers.
To the twin boys it was new. Though they had traveled the world helping
people, they had always been enrolled at the same schools in their
hometown. They were here for only one
reason though- to make sure Geneviere adjusted well to the semi-normal everyday
life she would be returning to.
Geneviere was a shy but worldly 5’5½” tall young
woman. She had steel blue eyes that
always appeared to be shouldering something but you never know what. Her hair was kept at shoulder length and it
always lied on the balance between dishwater blonde and light brown with slight
red highlights. She had a scar that ran
across her cheekbone in a diagonal manner, which always drew the first notice
of attention from anyone. She wore a
menagerie of bracelets collected from across the world on her wrists. The bracelets changed daily, but the one
constant was a heart shaped locket around her neck. On one side lies a cross, the other a
skeleton key.
To Geneviere this was just another school, another town,
another place in time that will blend in with so many others. From a young age she started traveling the
world due to a heartbreaking event. Her
parents divorced when she was six and in the settlement her mother, Sarah
McClain, got full custody over her more responsible and less erratic father,
Thomas Johnson.
Geneviere has carried around a feeling of unwantedness
when regards of her father’s feelings towards her. Ever since Jackson’s
death a lot has changed in her immediate family. Her mother set off immediately after the
divorce to California where she buried her grief
in work and men.
Thomas left the family ranch in Gatesville,
Texas and moved up north to the large property
he owned in Mountain View,
Washington. Thomas was still figure at the family’s
global business, but he did not participate actively. Unlike his ex-wife, he drew into himself and
refrained from making any important decisions.
On reflection though, Geneviere realizes that Thomas
probably wasn’t in the best state of mind during the custody hearing. It had only been a year since Jackson’s death
and he was Dad’s little cowboy. That had
been a rough year. Sarah and Thomas
needed someone to blame for the tragic death of their son, Geneviere’s twin
brother, Jackson. The two parents
couldn’t find it in themselves to blame Geneviere or the boys for Jackson’s
death. They blamed themselves and that
in turn ruined their marriage because they couldn’t move past their own anger
and self blame.
No one ever stopped to think about how much Geneviere
blamed herself…
“Gen?” The sound
of Casper calling her name drew her back to the present.
“Huh?..”
“Where do you want to sit? With those kids we met in third or by
ourselves?” Both of the boys were
watching her closely for any signs of distress.
It had been a long time since Geneviere tried to make friends.
“Did they invite us to sit with them? I don’t want to assume…”
“They just did Gen, it’ll be alright. You’ll be alright, we’re right here with you,
but come April we won’t be and we want to make sure you make friends who will
look out for you.” Jasper said
carefully.
Geneviere gave an exasperated sigh; they were always
worrying about her. For Christ’s sake,
she’s been through the Amazon supplying aid to those in need. She’s forged through Ethiopia healing the
wounded and feeding the starving, abandoned children. For the life of her though, she can’t handle
average kids her own age.
“Yeah, let’s go make friends.” She tried and failed to sound excited.
“Well, that was interesting.” Casper claimed as they climbed the front
porch of Thomas’ home. The house was of
decent size, fit for a family not a lonely middle aged man. Geneviere had always been weary of visiting
her Father. It had always been a solemn
occasion for the both of them. Thomas
never had anything to offer Geneviere and she never asked for anything. Her whole life she had always had enough
money to get whatever she desired, but just like the rest of her family no one
had ever felt the need to live beyond their means.
“Everyone was very nice.”
Geneviere amended. But just how many of them were sincere in their
intent? Geneviere thought to
herself.
“I know what you’re thinking, Gen. Stop it, you don’t have to trust them right
off the bat. People can be nice without
wanting anything from it. You’re nice
all the time and never ask for anything in return.” Jasper stated stubbornly.
“That’s because we were brought up differently than kids
now-a-days. For the first eight years of
our life we were taught by Greaty. He
brought us up as if were from the 1920’s rather than the 1990’s. Thank God for that, if I were like some of
these kids today I’d pray for someone to shoot me.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty glad that I got the chance to learn
things teenagers these days don’t have the opportunity.” Said Casper, shooting Jasper a dirty look, trying
to communicate to him that Geneviere doesn’t need this on her conscience. Jasper, realizing what his twin was trying to
say tried to lighten the mood,
“Like how we can speak all languages of amor.”
As Jasper reached the end of the hallway he gave a seductive turn,
winked, and said, “Avez-vous besoin de moi?”
Much to their effort, Geneviere and Casper couldn’t help but laugh.
“Je suis un homme désolé, mais personne ne veut cela.” Casper said with a laugh. Geneviere rolled her eyes and pushed her way
past Jasper who was blocking the entrance to the main room. As she laid down her stuff beside the couch
she ask,
“Do you guys want anything to eat? I peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a
side of milk is sounding pretty good to me right now.” Neither of the boys pointed out that that was
only because she ceased to eat anything during lunch.
“Sure, I’ll pour the milk, Jae can spread the jelly and
then you can spread the peanut butter.
It’ll be an assembly line!”
Casper said with way to much enthusiasm.
Geneviere and Jasper chuckled at him and followed him into the kitchen. Casper and Geneviere went straight to the
cupboard holding the glasses and plates as Jasper walked over to the fridge to
get out the peanut butter, jelly, and milk.
Casually as Jasper started spreading the grape jelly on
the first slice of wheat bread he spoke, “You did well today Gen, just keep
your head up. I know that Casper and I
can be a bit too optimistic for you, but when someone is as pessimistic as you
are it takes two people to balance it out!”
He finished with a smile, trying not to offend her.
“I’m not that pessimistic. I’m sure I’ll do fine here; I’m just out of
my element. It’s been a while since I’ve
gone to a normal school. Not to mention
a normal school full of people who I don’t know. When I lived with you guys I was homebound, but
I still had friends in the community who I’ve known my whole life. Here, I’m an outsider with no one on my side
of the line.”
Casper
butted in, “And since when haven’t you been an outsider? Gen you’ve traveled the world, Hell, you
lived with the Afar for two months one summer.”
“That
was different; I knew that was only for a few months. I wasn’t going to stay there for two
years. On top of that, I don’t even want
to be here. If I had it my way I’d be
living by myself. Actually, I probably
wouldn’t even have a place to call home.
I’d be so busy going from one country to the next. I want to help the people who everyone
forgets about. I can’t do that
here. Mom just didn’t care, and that was
for the best.” Geneviere claimed
indignantly. The boys just grumbled in
return.
They
knew how Geneviere truly felt, and it wasn’t what she just said. Underneath that hard exterior was a broken
girl who only wanted someone to show it to her that they cared. That’s why the twins flew up here with her. They love her and she needs that. She needs to know that there is someone
else’s bed she can crawl into at night when she had a bad dream. Someone who would sing her to sleep when her
thoughts wouldn’t let her.
Geneviere
walked back into the living room with the boys in tow and sat down in front of
the sofa, leaning her back against it.
Casper picked up the remote as he went to sit on her left and flipped on
the television as Jasper was making himself comfortable on Geneviere’s right.
“Friends
is on, we could watch that.” Suggested
Jasper.
“Orrrr,
we could go get the old VHS tapes of Mama’s Family.” Geneviere countered, batting her eyelashes at
Casper who was in charge of the remote this evening. He stared at them both for a few seconds and
then went to channel 259 to watch Walker Texas Ranger. “Typical man.” Geneviere muttered, though she
really did enjoy the show.
After the hour had ended Geneviere went up stairs to her
room to unload her very full backpack.
As she sat it on her desk next to her laptop she took a look around the
room. It’s been a while since I’ve been here hasn’t it? She thought to herself. The
last time I came to see Dad was when I was 15.
That was two years ago now. I
probably would have come up last summer as usual if it weren’t for the fact
that they needed me at the ranch after Richard died. She shook herself out of that thought
quickly. It’s so hard to remain positive
when you’re always remembering the negative.
She laid a hand on the light purple walls remember how
she used to get in trouble with Jackson for writing on the walls with crayons
before he died. Eventually they learned
not to color where their parents would see.
The first thing she did when she arrived at the house last week was to
check and see if the drawing of their family was still in her closet. She had feared that Thomas had painted over
it in preparation of her visit.
Thankfully he did no such thing.
Her blue curtains fluttered lightly as she opened the
window to let the room breathe a bit.
Her dresser was on the wall perpendicular to the window so Geneveire
didn’t have to move far to remove most of jewlery. Leaving only the many cloth bracelets on her
left wrist. Walking over to her closet
she placed her two cell phones on the desk.
Luckily no one had called her business line while she was in
school. It’s odd actually having to worry about someone calling my work line
during regular business hours. I’m
screwed if someone does. Unlike Mom, Dad
cares if I get in trouble, but it’s not like I can just ignore it if I’m
called. Someone needs help and I’ll be
damned if I can’t do something!
Geneviere hung up her jacket in the closet and
stopped dead when she saw the drawing.
She stood there staring at the happy faces of her parents and the
smiling stick figures of them all.
Mostly though, she stared at the fake Jackson and thought of his smile
and how that if she smiled more she would see it again in the mirror. It felt like an eternity until Jasper opened
her door and asked for help with his Trig homework. She walked out of the room after him with
solemn thoughts, That was when we were
happy, that was when we weren’t broken…
“You’re so exasperating!
Just put this number here and that one there and boom! You’ve got
it!” Geneviere exclaimed at her brother.
“But why do they go there? Why do these number work here and not
there? Why can’t I work on both sides of
the equation and not just one?” Jasper
insisted.
“Look Jae, you’re over thinking it. I know you think you have to understand the
why’s behind everything, but frankly, you can get through life pretty well
without knowing them all. I don’t know
the answer to your questions. I do, however, know how to solve the
problem and if you want me to keep helping through them I suggest you shut up,
listen, and stop over thinking it.” She
snapped. Geneveire realized that she was
being to aggressive about it by the hurt look that went quickly across Jae’
face. She sighed. “I’m sorry, it’s been a long day. Well start from the beginning and work our
way back down, okay?”
After another hour and a half of math work they were
finally finished. It had been a long day
for them all. Geneveire went back
upstairs while the twin boys went into the living room to watch
television. When Geneveire walked into
her room she turned on her iHome and played The Fray at a soft volume. She layed down on her floor and staired at
the ceiling.
Everything is so
different now. I never came to visit Dad
because of the memories from this place. Home. That’s what this place is suppose to be to me
now. I don’t have home, I haven’t had
one for a while. After Jackson died Mom
and Dad just abandoned Texas, avoided it in all conversations like an STD. Mom got custody of me in the divorce, not
like it was hard to do since Dad didn’t even fight for me. He just layed down and took it.
California
had been uncomfortable for me. Mom was
always in and out, Dad would call and check up on me. I never told him the truth though, the truth
would have killed him. He didn’t fight,
but he did care. I hope. I never told him about how Mom had drank that
whole next year away after Jackson’s death.
Or about the string of me that came through the door. It was unstable, but then again, so am I.
I
was always alone, even when Mom was home.
She tried to take care of me, but she couldn’t handle it. Not at first or even as the years went
by. A part of her died that day along
with Jackson. Only a part though, it
wasn’t like half of her had been taken away.
Stolen from the years he should have had. I cried every night, his death constantly on
play in my mind. I became reclusive in
school making up friends that I didn’t really have. The only one who new at the time was Greaty.
The
divorce had left things sour between my Great Grandfather and parents. He loved my father, and even my mother, but
he just hated to see them give up so easily on their marriage. He fought with them, tried to get them to go
to counseling but they wouldn’t listen.
The fighting grew worse. I
remember the night they took the first step to the divorce office. It was dead silent, like the calm before the
storm. I heard a glass shatter and then
the screaming came. They screamed for
hours on end. I remember walking down
stairs, neither of them noticing,-they always thought I’d be asleep by now,
never knowing that sleep came rarely to me anymore- I picked up our landline
and dialed Uncle Richard as I raced back up the stairs.
“Shallow
Creek Ranch, Richard Johnson speaking.”
My Uncle was always polite when he answered the phone, even when it was
2:39 in the morning. Up until this point
I hadn’t thought about to say to him when he did answer. I realized that I was at a loss of
words. I’d been silent for a year about
the fighting. Everyone thought that we
were adjusting well enough to the loss of my twin brother. I couldn’t handle it. The thought of breaking the façade. I hung up the telephone and muffled my sobs
with a pillow.
An
hour later and they were still at it.
“I’m six years old, I shouldn’t have to deal with this!” I flung myself off the bed, grabbed my
Powerpuff girls backpack and stuffed it full of the things that meant the most
to me. The picture of us at the town
festival two years ago holding a cone of pumpkin icecream, Jackson’s longhorn
stuffed animal, my favorite clothes, and my favorite shirt that belongPowerpuff
girls backpack and stuffed it full of the things that meant the most to me. The picture of us at the town festival two
years ago holding a cone of pumpkin ice cream, Jackson’s longhorn stuffed animal,
my favorite clothes, and my favorite shirt that belonged to Jackson.
